I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
