I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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