I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
