We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
