i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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