i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
