you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
