I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
