oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
