I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I will pee on everything he values.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
