Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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