You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
