Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
