So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I bet he comes in French.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
