This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
