dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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