Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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