so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
