I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
