But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
