We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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