I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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