I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
