Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
