she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
