yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
