No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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