So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
