Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
