I look better un-naked...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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