I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
