Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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