I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
