I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
