Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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