Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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