We're like a lot better than the average bears
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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