I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
