first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
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