i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
