So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
