She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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