I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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