I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
