apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
