I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We got so high we made milksteak
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
