great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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