How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
