She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
