Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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