That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
