he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
